I recently retired from my music teaching career. Amid the awfulness of the pandemic and other life drama that crops up I have been fortunate and able to continue writing songs.
One of my concerns with aging and limited outside contact and reduced activity is maintaining my health and my mental acuity. I tried to put these meditations and concerns in this song.
A few months ago a blood relative, someone very close to me who I have weekly contact with, was diagnosed with early onset dementia. The song was freshly written when I heard the news. I thought the song was about me, but I guess this song is about her, me, everybody. It is about the road everyone will eventually travel towards our eventual demise.
I wonder where the wonder went
So many miles travelled, they came and went
Our Wonder years already spent
Wondering what anything meant
-Oh-oh-I wonder
I wonder Who I was meant to be
If I’ve seen all that I was meant to see
Or was this all just a fantasy
I wonder if I’m really me
-oh-oh-I wonder
I wonder what this is all about
If anybody anywhere could have bailed me out
If I ever bought in, Or did I drop out
Hey, Alfie, what’s it all about
I wonder when I can feel it again
If I’ll ever be relieved from residual pain
If I ever figure out what’s been driving me insane
And where I’ll get off this runaway train
I wonder where my my serenity went
The worries in my head should be paying me rent
All of my joy has already been spent
I wonder where everybody went
Oh, oh, I wonder
I wonder how I’m going to cope with these things now
If I’m going to wear a smile or a furrowed brow
I wonder where I’m going to point my prow
Am I going to take everything that life will allow
I wonder why this all seems so strange
Why all of my targets are out of range
I wonder if I can face the change
Pretty sure something can be arranged
I wonder why things turned out like they did
Some things in the open, some things hid
I wonder was my offer the winning bid?
I wonder if it’ll be the same for my kids
Vignettes and Bagatelles 