Role reversal is a technique used in therapy meant to develop empathy and put yourself in another’s shoes.
In my life I have seen many guide dogs leading humans who had little or no eyesight. Where I went to University was across the street from the Canadian National Institute for the Blind. I never dreamed or ever considered that one day I might be a “Seeing eye dog”.
One of our two Shih-Tzus completely lost his eyesight around a month ago. It seemed all of a sudden that he started bumping into things and stumbling into hazards like stairs. This may have been as a result of his recently diagnosed diabetes and/or pancreatitis. The sudden need for Sami to be dependent and protected from falling down stairs and needing to be carried in both directions has put me in the role of seeing eye human. I carry him outdoors for his morning relief and several times throughout the day as well. Before we realized he was blind (day one) I put him out in the back yard with the other dogs and when I went to let them back in the two other dogs scrambled through the door, but Sami was not with them. This wasn’t unusual, the dogs sometimes went round the corner of the L shaped yard. After a while, though, I became concerned he wasn’t showing up or responding to my voice. He usually came when he was called. I went over to the side of the house and he wasn’t there. Sami is a real home body. He is not a runner, he was not in the yard and the gates were closed. We checked indoors thinking maybe we were unaware that he came inside. Another pass of the yard and a sideways glance revealed that he had fallen in a window well. The basement windows are below ground level. He was quietly lying in a bed of leaves and I pulled him out. So weird he didn’t bark or whimper or anything.
I have been amazed at the ability of this little creature to adapt. Without language, I can’t be sure if he understands what has befallen him, but I am sure he accepts it. He wags his tail for meals and he still enjoys being petted and going “walkies”. He just gets on with his job of being a dog.
It is an honour for me to be his eyes. He has learned to traverse the two steps to get back into the house. He follows my voice and as he nears the step I say “up” and he is able to hoist himself up and enter the house. He often gets disoriented inside the house and frequently bumps into walls or chairs, but has learned to walk gingerly and he doesn’t hurt himself, he just flinches and changes direction. Sometimes he is completely at a loss and just stands facing a wall and waits for me to point him in the other direction. He never complains.
This new symbiotic relationship has brought me closer to him. I always liked Sami. He is quite the character. I now love him to the same extent I loved another dog in my past named Stardust. We are hoping to provide him with quality of life as long as we can. Sharon is the primary caregiver as far as syringes and pain meds go, easily the more difficult task, but I do most of the physical work of lifting and overseeing his movements.
Dogs give us so much. They are loyal companions and warm comfort. They teach us so much about life. Too bad the deal is that they don’t live as long as humans. I have mourned many dogs (my own and friends’ and family dogs). It is never easy, but mourning a loved one is far better than not having a loved one.
The little rascal just climbed the stairs, so I better go and see what he’s up to and bring him back to safety.
I had an interesting but disturbing exchange with a man last evening. He was painting a hallway near where I was going. I noticed he was wearing a school board shirt from a local board and struck up a conversation. He explained he was moonlighting and added that being a parent was expensive. I asked how old were his kids? He told me they were ten and seven. I exclaimed “you’re missing Hallowe’en” to which he replied “We don’t do Hallowe’en, we are Christian!”
Now, I was brought up Christian and this concept was news to me. He went on about how Hallowe’en gave a foothold to Satan, etc. My opinion of this man did a complete 180. The remainder of our conversation was of him spewing his dogma and me trying to politely escape. I felt like he was no longer human, but a programmed automaton. There was no room for anything else. An idea free world.
I thought about all the kids I have taught whose parents’ religious convictions kept them from participating in fun events or social ceremonies that were contrary to their beliefs. Some who were not allowed to play, sing or hear music….. others who were not able to have birthday cupcakes, etc. no dancing. No Hallowe’en…..
It saddens me that there are huge swaths of humanity who are blinded by ideology that restricts and controls their behaviour to such an extent that festivity is alien to them. Straight and narrow flies in the face of my belief that we are meant to rejoice in our lives and the wide vista of the planet we inhabit.
Last night, after this encounter, as I drove slowly down a residential street in NDG festooned with creative, spooky and hilarious decorations and looking left and right at little goblins running from house to house with their parents in tow (and sometimes better costumed than the kids) my heart was warmed at this harmless and charming activity that pulls neighbours together and celebrates life in the face of and in spite of death.
I recently discovered a great place to walk not far from where we live.
I love walking in the woods, but I live in deep suburbia. We have a park very nearby where we walk the dogs and sometimes I walk all alone just to gather my thoughts. Nice park, but not the new one
When I lived closer to Mount Royal I’d go there to walk and/or cross country ski, but not as often as I would have liked to. Pay parking was a deterrent.
There are several places out here on the West Island where I can go and walk, but alas, my vignette for parking expired and I haven’t renewed it yet. I will as winter approaches so I can park and ski at Cap St. Jacques and on Ile Bizard.
The park I “discovered” is called Centennial Park in DDO. There are tons of activity areas: a dog run, etc. but the area I like is the trails in the woods and around the man-made lake. As a young girl, Sharon played in the area that is now the park. She said the area was all farmland and woods before the neighbourhood got built up. She said she thought the park opened in 1976. I asked her if her math was off because the Centennial of Canada was in 1967 when her dad bought their home a few blocks from where the park is today. Turns out it was commissioned in 1967, but took 9 years to complete.
The park comprises 48 hectares and surrounds a lake. At various places along the trail you’d swear you were in the Laurentians. I spent a good portion of my early life near and in lakes like this and the surrounding brush offers fragrant reminiscences that warm my heart.
The walking paths in Centennial remind me of a particular walking path in Oxford, U.K. where the author C.S. Lewis walked as part of his routine. His walk is called Addison’s Walk. My brothers and I toured Oxford in the spring. A tour that concentrated on Lewis and Tolkein…Heroes of ours. I have posted a virtual tour of this lovely promenade that is both entirely rural, but bordering on the bustling urban campus of Oxford University.
If you delight in nature (like I do) a park like this one is a true blessing. Not only does it provide body-care exercise, but mind-settling scenery and, bonus… it keeps one “regular” (nudge,nudge, wink, wink, say no more, say no more!).
I am so thankful to have this resource and I wish I had visited earlier. I regret that the geriatric Shih-Tzus no longer have the stamina for long walks.
I’ve been curious about my British roots since forever, but after joining Ancestry.ca and a previous trip to the UK where I mysteriously felt like I was at home on a molecular level I felt an urge to delve farther into our roots. As I was looking up stuff I encountered a facebook group called “World of Hanchett’s” which, despite the misuse of an apostrophe, opened my knowledge up exponentially. I met several Hanchetts and other variants (Hanchant) online who are much more passionate and skilled at this genealogy tracing than I am. Their interest and e-mails helped me immeasurably in planning and understanding. In particular, Leland Hanchett has written many historical books on this very subject.
It all started with this picture that was in my filing cabinet in a manila folder called “Dad”. I knew this was a photo of my great grandfather’s monumental mason business. I scanned the picture and started googling using clues like: Hanchet;stone mason; Finchley; East Finchley etc.
I found this next photo in Pinterest and bought it.
This photo had more clues. I got satellite views of High street and scanned up and down to no end. On a hunch I looked up East Finchley Historical societies or something like that and sent the picture asking if they knew the actual address on High Street. Within the hour I received a response… 79 High Road.
“Hello there.
My name is Ian Hanchet and I am writing from Montreal, Canada in search of my roots. My great grandfather was Walter Alfred Hanchet whose stone carving business was on High Road in East Finchley. Seeing as many of my ancestors apparently came from the area around Oxford, I am writing on the off chance that there might be a connection here. Thank you for your time.”
Within the hour I received a response… “79 High Road. Now a Lebanese restaurant.” I thought “how cool to go to England and have a meal there. Maybe they’d let us into the basement and see stuff that was too cumbersome to move out”… First I got brother Mark interested in this idea, then we invited brother Guy along.
The best laid plans of mice and men…. The pandemic bankrupted the restaurant and it was closed. Apparently squatters moved in and it is now boarded up and secured. It is “To Let”. Disappointing, but affirming as well. Everything changes.
The neighbourhood of East Finchley is a colourful, bustling place with visible minorities seemingly in the majority. Many foods from the middle east.
The Diary
Sunday May 14th -Monday May 15th I squeezed into a “red eye” sardine can with wings and promptly dropped a noise cancelling ear bud which rolled backward as the plane was ascending. I had to use my ipod earbuds, but music was impossible with the noise floor so high from the airplane.
They were set in Ireland and in England (I know Dunkirk’s in France)respectively. I used English subtitles to increase my understanding as the earbuds suck. It was a happy coincidence that as the soldiers and sailors evacuated from Dunkirk were arriving safely in England our plane was approaching the white cliffs on the English side of the channel. too far southwest to be Dover, but so what!
Monday May 15th I had a few hours to kill before Guy’s plane landed. Struck up a conversation with some Scottish travellers…oy vey.. Anti Maskers etc. Fortunately I found an escape before I had to go all Rob Roy on them… The train system is connected to the airport which is totally awesome. Direct train to Cambridge.
Train To Cambridge
Didn’t need “Findmybrother” Mark was where he said he’d be in Cambridge.
Mark was the only one insured to drive the rental, so he got to white knuckle it on the “wrong” side of the road. Guy and I got to practice our roller coaster yells as designated back seat drivers.
Uh yeah!
We checked into our rental in Steeple Bumpstead which brother Mark found for us. It was an excellent choice! We were hungry and thirsty so we hiked the hundred yards to the Fox and Hounds
Lovely reception from the locals, but sadly their kitchen was not open on Mondays. A customer called The Red Lion for us and ascertained that their kitchen was open. A kind gesture. We went over to what was to be the first of many Red Lions we encountered on our travels. The beer was better than the “Bangers and Mash” which we had nostalgically mis-remembered as a delicacy from our grandfather. To make matters worse, we paid for it twice by mistake. Glad it wasn’t paid for by deservedly getting indigestion!
The food helped us get a good night’s sleep until the wee hours of the morning when the birds…
da Bumpstead boids
Tuesday May 16th the roots trip gets under way. On our trip to Shudy Camps we passed a sign for Hanchett toys. Had to stop! The toy store is no more, it specialized in wooden apparatus and other specialty items. We spoke to someone at the attached equestrian school who said it didn’t survive the pandemic. One of my reprobate friends altered (photoshopped) the picture an improvement which I cherish.
We found Shudy Camps which is little more than a crossroads with a church. We were walking around the graveyard looking for ancestors…turns out they were all dead and their name tags faded or fell off….Hanchet Hall in the upper right corner
Hanchets lost in time.Dust to dust.
Extract from ‘Magna Britannia – ‘Cambridgeshire’ by Daniel & Samuel Lysons, first published 1808.
SHUDY-CAMPS, in ancient records, called Shudee-Camps, and Scode-Camps, adjoins to Castle-Camps, being 14 miles south-east of Cambridge, and about 13 south of Newmarket : it was sometimes called Parva-Camps; and appears to have acquired its present name form the family of Shudee, who, in ancient times, possessed the manor, and gave the hamlet of Northoe to the monks of Ely.
The manor of Shudy-Camps was held by the family of Hanchet, in the reigns of King Edward I. and King Edward II. of the family of Playz, as heirs of the Montfichets : at a later period, it was successively in the families of Cholmeley and Bentley
A short walk from the church is the Hall. Obviously the Hall has been added to over the past half a millenium, but the land and part of the structure would have been my family’s. I wanted to knock on the door, but my brothers felt I should respect the present owner’s privacy.
Next stop was Saffron Walden where it was Market Day. The library faced the market so I went in and found someone on site whose volunteer job is to help with the archives. I found some stuff, but saved the site for later.
We had lunch at the Crown an upscale pub. We were in an annex whose walls were covered with pictures of bombers from WW II. There must have been an airfield in the vicinity during the second world war.
We had passed Hanchett Hall, Haverhill on the way back to our base. We had seen a picture of this house in our book “The English Ancestry of Thomas Hanchett”, My brother Guy’s log has a more complete accounting I have put the link to it again. https://guyhanchet.wordpress.com/2023/05/31/hanchet-brothers-roots-tour/
– We ate at yet another Red Lion in Sturmer. We needed groceries, so headed back to Haverhill for some silly photos of Hanchet End and Hanchett Village. Throughout all the reading and archival stuff I have been through it seems that One t or two t’s or several other variants were common. Someone told me that a T was added to the Hall fairly recently to be in line with Hanchett End etc. Easily rectified…lol. Again, my brothers didn’t think it’d be “in good taste” to hang my rear end out for a gag shot. So?!?!?!?
On Wednesday May 17 we went to Bury/St. Edmunds in the morning and met with Kevin Emsden who runs “Hanchets Monumental Masons” Kevin’s father and my great-uncle Walter Arthur Hanchet’s son were partners. He had some interesting tidbits. They kept the name because it was respected and Hanchet had cachet..
On to Cambridge University.
Cambridge University
Renovations at King’s College precluded our visiting this hallowed hall. We did hear another choir through an upper window rehearsing an anthem. All three brothers have choral experience, so it hit us viscerally.
Why we really came to Cambridge was to re-enact the beheading of our ancestor. They wouldn’t let me on the plane with an ax…(philistines) and I couldn’t get one in time in Cambridge so Mark improvised with a baguette.
In Cambridge Market Square where John Hanchach lost his head for his part in the 1381 Peasant’s Revolt.
“Following the peasants’ uprising in 1381 and John Hanchach’s subsequent beheading, it is not surprising that members of the Hanchet family kept a low profile. As a result, the living members of the family started to spread out to places not formerly associated with the family name.”
We are up early on Thursday may 18th to get to Oxford University where we are to meet our private tour guide for our C.S. Lewis and J.R.R. Tolkien tour that we brothers unanimously decided was worth taking a day! Guy has great photos on his blog, so I’ll only post a few. https://www.nytimes.com/2023/02/28/travel/cs-lewis-oxford-narnia.html
There is a faun above Mark and Malcolm’s heads. Mr. Tumnus? The lamppost of Narnia behind them.
I love Oxford. I could spend a year or two here! I was super impressed by Blackwell’s Book store. 2 and a half miles of shelving…https://blackwells.co.uk/bookshop/about
We had greasy fish and soggy chips from Chippy’s takeaway.
Friday May 19th -off day Mark had to work. Guy and I walked around , ate at the Fox and Hounds caught up on some sleep and went into Haverhill for a Turkish dinner which provided us with leftovers for the next evening.
Saturday May 20th -trip to Edgeware (North London)to visit our second cousins at Alice’s home which was her grandmother’s (our great auntie Daisy).
, east finchley -souvenir photos- the old pot’s business- turkish leftovers
Sunday may 21st. hike to Helion Bumpstead the three horseshoes- hike back -mark forgot his phone with the name of the Nepalese/indian resto…in Saffren. by the time we figured out the resto was called Yugo Google maps sent us down two way roads that resembled a paved golf cart path or a one way country driveway lined with hedge that two bicycles could barely pass each other on. The place was a remote semi-rural location and no cars in the lot. we were worried the food might be scrappy because there were so few diners. No need to worry, the phone in, walk in Take Away business was hopping! probably the best Indian food I’ve ever eaten.
Monday may 22 -packing up and drive to Cambridge and train to Liverpool Street station. I find a hat that fits!!!
We had a big dinner planned at Sishoom Shoreditch with nephew Malcolm and niece Simone and Sharon’s 1st cousin Renu and Mark’s wife Denise.
Tuesday may 23 The big item today is a visit to Darwin’s cottage.
We returned to London and walked across London Bridge. It wasn’t falling down. Walked through Whitehall where there is a Jack the Clipper barber shop and a Jack the Chipper Fish and Chips stand. That evening we had reservations to Ronnie Scott’s which is to London what the Village Vanguard is to NYC. Jazz Mecca.
Woodstock. This band and the singers are great
Wednesday my quest was to find Halcyon Gallery for a Bob Dylan Exhibit and get an Art Book of his work. I remembered after the fact that it was Bob Dylan’s birthday.
I then meet Renu at 2 at the Victoria and Albert Museum where she bought me lunch and we walked around the garden and the main floor. This art gallery is amazing, and Renu is a great tour guide and friend! I put my phone observations into this little video
I realized early on in our trip that our scope and time was limited. The Ancestry we followed was strictly Patrilineal. The tree, although interesting is impossible to ever complete. For every male Hanchet there were other mothers, sisters, . I think that on any given day in the UK we probably passed dozens of cousins, but we were unaware of it. I believe everything and everyone is interconnected and if I follow the Do Unto Others… Love thy neighbour as thyself. It’s good.
The diaspora is huge and my Hanchett buddies who narrow things down and seek out headstones are better at it than me. Tombstones don’t talk anyway.
Thanks for joining me on this lame account of our very fun and interesting journey.
Of course I knew who Sonny Rollins is. He is a master of an art form that has resonated with me for over 2/3 of my time on this planet. I had all the right albums and knew the lineage as well as any other student of Jazz. Trouble was it didn’t hit me viscerally in the same way some of his contemporaries did. I have had reverential posters on my wall of John Coltrane; Miles Davis; Duke Ellington but never Sonny Rollins.
I just finished a 700 page biography of Sonny’s life and music written by Aidan Levy. It took me a long time to traverse this Tome as I would stop and listen to the records mentioned and fill in the gaps of music I had not yet heard. By guided listening, I was able to rebuild a more accurate view of Sonny Rollins. Hearing the amazing Bud Powell but listening for Sonny… Realizing that although I have several Clifford Brown-Max Roach albums, I didn’t have the one they made with Sonny nor the Max Roach plus albums… rectified.
Focussed listening always brings great results. As various albums came up in the book, I’d stop and listen. Brilliant Corners (Thelonious Monk) The Fabulous Fats Navarro, Art Farmer, Kenny Dorham. All great albums in my collection where I never really remarked on the sax player being Sonny. Each new listen bringing me closer to the general consensus that Sonny was one of the greatest improvisers in modern jazz.
Of course I have been aware of and have played several of Sonny’s songs. Oleo, Doxy, Pent-Up House, St. Thomas, Tenor Madness, Airegin, etc. A very long list of what are now part of the standard Jazz repertoire. great tunes, great vehicles for improvising.
I listened to Saxophone Colossus, Tenor Madness and then Live at the Village Vanguard which I initially had dismissed because it was a trio (no guitar or piano). My ears were not ready back then. I held so many opinions then that I disagree with now.
There is a famous story where Sonny stopped performing and took a sabbatical to reimagine his approach and strengthen his mind and body. he practiced daily on the Williamsburg bridge in NYC. When he decided to end his exile he emerged with a quartet that included guitarist Jim Hall. The album “The Bridge” was and is one of my favourite discs. I realized this time around that my ears were mostly attuned to the guitar and the rhythm section and I was taking the leader soloist for granted. i listened intently several times focusing on elements I had heretofore ignored and the disc became alive and complete. It was as if I was experiencing something for the first time. A richer experience because I had been awakened.
As a music student in the late seventies and early eighties I was learning so much about jazz all at once. i would scour used record stores for names I recognized and would snap up their discs for cheap. Some were gems, others, duds. I picked up three or four titles from Sonny’s catalogue and was disappointed by each of them. According to the book, the period where these albums were from was the weakest era of his career. he was marrying improvisation on a more ‘pop’ or ‘commercial’ backing. I am not against this kind of music per se, but at the time I was a hardcore bop fanatic and I felt that Sonny was slumming it. It is no wonder that I dismissed the entirety of Sonny off this random sampling. I feel differently now. I know more. I hear better.
The gift in all of this is that by him being under the radar for most of my life, I am discovering remarkable music daily from this same source. The motherlode of riches is like when a miner hits a huge vein of precious ore. Eldorado!
Reading about Sonny’s personal and spiritual journey has also deepened my experience of his music. i have read several biographies of other heroes from the same or similar eras. Most of my musical heroes did not live to experience old age. Easier, tidier to wrap a life already lived than one that is ongoing. Sonny is no longer able to play, but I am thankful for the richness of his oeuvre and what he has taught.
If I have ever said anything disparaging or disapproving about Sonny Rollins in the past, please forgive me. I was an asshole!
I am reading a biography of Sonny Rollins called “Saxophone Colossus” which has rekindled my love and appreciation for Bebop and Hard Bop music.
The format I listen to music now is very different from LP and/or CD. I download my CDs and transfer the files to one of several iPod Classics. I listen with my eyes closed and bathe in the sound. My form of meditation and migraine relief.
To relax yesterday, I listened intently to another Sonny. Sonny Clark’s album “Cool Struttin'” from 1958 which I have listened to probably several dozen times since I first purchased it in the 1970’s.
I like to guess the players on music I listen to if I don’t already know in advance. I knew it was Sonny Clark on piano, because he was the leader whose album I had selected. I have many other albums by him, and this one was chosen at random. I immediately recognized Paul Chambers on bass and Philly-Joe Jones on drums. They were 2/3 of perhaps the greatest rhythm section of that era. I know all their recordings with Miles Davis and many others. I couldn’t for the life of me figure out the trumpet and saxophone player. I wracked my brain and it upset my serenity that I didn’t recognize the players, so I googled it. Jackie Mclean on alto and Art Farmer on trumpet. These are both masterful artists that I am familiar with in other settings. Art Farmer is better known as a flugelhorn player and I was surprised at his tuning on this. I felt he was just under the pitch which was especially noticeable on the ensemble playing with Jackie who (to my ears) is always just the other side of the pitch. One was flat, and the other sharp. Seeing as I haven’t noticed it before on previous listens, I returned to my enjoyment and willingly suspended my analytical listening.
The early chapters of the book on Sonny Rollins fresh in my mind and the sounds of the music of Sonny Clark’s combo got me to thinking about how unstuck in time I am.
When I first encountered and became engaged to this style of music, I was twenty years of age. Hard bop music was already around twenty years old by then. I thought of these musicians as older than me and revered them as masters of the form that I sought to master. Rollins’ biography made me realize that the musicians I was worshipping were essentially around my age when they were making this fresh and compelling music. Why was this fact, which on some level I must have known, just becoming a reality to me now?
If I see a Hockey game or any other professional team sport, I don’t think of the men on the ice as younger than me… is it because I first encountered team sports from the perspective of a child? Something that a grown up does. If I encounter women’s team sports I do not have the same experience. I see them as dynamic women younger than me. Is this because Women’s professional organized sports has only fairly recently become a”thing”?
I’m starting to think that the way I store things in my brain is faulty. If I perceive musicians who are younger than me on recordings as older than me and conversely, Hockey players in real life who are younger than me as older than me do I have faulty perception? Do others experience this? When we picture notable people do we picture “Sun Records Elvis” or “Las Vegas Elvis”? We see Einstein with White hair. We tend to see people in their image “after achievement”. A Monolithic vision.
Another thing of which I am recently becoming acutely aware is the time line and perspective of history. Concurrent to the Sonny Rollins book I am also reading “Indiginous Continent” and “A People’s History of The United States” (and Trees by Hermann Hesse…doesn’t fit this essay). So many different perspectives of things I thought I knew. Things and people evolve.
Some things I could lecture on at length and am able to distinguish a time line. The career of each year of The Beatles, Bob Dylan, history of the guitar, the time lines of what we call “classical music and art” but includes Baroque, Renaissance, Romantic, etc. I would regularly blow the minds of students when discussing things in the past that never occured to them. On Mozart. Do you know what was here (the island of Montreal) when Mozart lived? The population of Canada was under 100,000 people and Montreal’s population could fit inside a hockey Arena except Hockey Arena’s didn’t exist at that time.
I think perhaps we all go through life placing things vaguely in “the past” as “chunks” without giving a thought about things we take for granted and were always there, so always will be. As we experience the deaths of loved ones and/or historic events it dawns on us that we are impermanent and situations change… pre-Covid….college days… when dad died….
Only age, experience and education is making me evolve my world view. Everything is in flux. I love this short video that illustrates transformation.
A post-script. Wayne Shorter transitioned from a living human being into the spirit world (as was his belief)yesterday. I have followed Wayne’s career from when he first came to prominence in the Jazz world (roughly a decade and a bit after Sonny Rollins). His music is a part of me. My fabric. I know he was young when he was with Art Blakey and then Miles, on his own and then with Weather Report. I never experienced him as “young”, middle-aged” or “old” just as “Wayne Shorter”. Now that he is no longer Wayne Shorter, but his recordings still exist, I can still think of him fondly and honour what he brought into my life.
All lessons still exist “out of time” and although our bodies will run “out of time” the spirit of art lives on.
The train from the Town of Mount Royal to Central Station takes less than ten minutes. It travels in a straight line from the center of what was once called “Model City” to a hole at the foot of the “mountain” where there is a brief stop and then the train is swallowed and eventually finds the platform under Central Station in the heart of downtown Montreal. I was always amazed that this hole went right under the mountain and came out the other side. I would stay up at night and think about how they might have achieved this. I think my one way fare as a student was 10 cents. Maybe 15. It was a while back.
Some of my most vivid and fondest memories of my childhood are of that train. At ten years old, My parents were trusting enough in me and in society to let me go downtown by myself. I was required to go to choir practice at Christ Church Cathedral on Tuesdays and Thursdays after school. I also had to go early on Sundays before the service.
I was one of six charter members of the boy’s choir which started in 1966 the same year Montreal got it’s Metro. At its peak the boy’s choir had around 24 choristers who came from various parts of the city to sing. There were several from Town of Mount Royal and at least one from Ville St. Laurent (one stop past TMR). Many came from “the Point” (Point St. Charles) or “Little Burgundy” and Verdun. These last three neighbourhoods could be described as “inner city” or “disadvantaged” although I knew nothing of that as a young boy. We were all just “kids”.
Sunday morning was my favourite commute. There was hardly anyone on the train or at Central station and there was no Sunday shopping, so there were no shoppers along the boutique lined passageways of Place Ville Marie which had been built in 1962, so was relatively new when I frequented these passageways.
The rays of the sweep light atop Place Ville Marie were visible from my home and kept a steady beat in the sky. I loved watching it while lying on my back in the back yard accompanied by the smell of apple blossoms in Spring, thick honeysuckle and ripening apples in summer and dead leaves and rotting windfalls in fall. I am trying to recollect a winter memory of ozone and damp wool, but given Canadian winters I doubt if I lay in the back yard after dark. I saw the light anyways from my bed. Sweep…..sweep……sweep….sleep.
Exiting PVM on Cathcart street, I made my way to University Street (now named Robert-Bourassa after a politician who had not yet become Premier of Quebec).
I would head north on University towards Ste. Catherine Street which was essentially the core of downtown. Big department stores, delis, churches, banks. On Sunday morning the street was bare. Hardly a soul. It is how I imagine a city would look after an evacuation or a rapture. Only me and maybe a street cleaner or a stray pedestrian wearing a fedora huddled against the wind and sheets of newspaper wafting around empty curbs. Being alone in such a large desolate space made it mine. I own it to this day.
The Cathedral sits between University (Robert-Bourassa) and Union. It was usually described as the big church between Eaton’s and Morgan’s (now The Bay). The two largest department store chains in Canada. Just North of the Cathedral there was a grey stone building that housed a number of church related activities. This was attached to another building which housed offices and a hall called Fulford Hall. These buildings in turn were connected to the Cathedral itself by a long tunnel. At the end of the church service the officiant (usually the Dean) would say “let us depart in peace” and the choristers would reply “in the name of the lord” and we’d all say “amen” together and the boys would tear through the tunnel taking off our surplices, ruffs and cassocks as we flew back to the croft and gave them to be hung away for another week. We would then either go back home or go to Fulford Hall for overly sugared and milked tea and cookies depending on how we had arranged to go home.
The music we sang in church was wonderful. Motets, Anthems, hymns and psalms. I will always love this music. It has permanently altered me at a molecular level. Because the Cathedral was “high Anglican” there was a lot of very serious liturgical stuff and candle lighting and standing and sitting. Not quite incense swinging and everything in Latin, but close . We learned:The Apostle’s creed, the Nicene Creed, Benediction, bunch of stuff in Latin. My favourite being the Kyrie Eleison. Music was better for Morning Prayer than the Eucharist. Probably to keep people in the pews. The Eucharist (Holy Communion) had a part where the choir would sing softly as people went up to the Altar to receive the body and blood of Christ. Usually when everybody was done and after the officiant honked the last of the “blood” (apparently it was a sin to waste blessed wine) we would sing an anthem. Often this would be A Capella (which translates as “in the Chapel”, but means “unaccompanied”.) Being in the midst of this glorious reverberant sound of men and boys singing music that is the acme of western civilization is one of the greatest feelings I have ever had. It is easy to believe there is a God when in the middle of a good choir.
Once a month we had to sing “Evensong” so the boys would be treated to lunch and we would have some sports activity between services. Evensong was almost all music, so even though the sermon was an abbreviated rerun the music was fresh and good. My favourite restaurant that we might go to at the time was Mr. Steer which is still around. Their #2 which costs $12.25 plus GPS and TPS today, was $1.10 then. It was a steerburger and Suzy Q fries with a soft drink. The price was just before the tax cut in, so was popular with businessmen for lunch. Very clever incentive. My dad explained that to me after talking to the owner who I referred to as Mr. Steer. His real name was a very Jewish sounding name like Katz. Most of the delis in Montreal at that time were owned and run by Jewish immigrants from Europe. They probably still are, but there is more competition from the delicacies of more recent immigrants’ cuisine as well. We had to sing for our supper once at Dunn’s delicatessen. Helped the church pay for our Smoked Meat sandwiches.
Trains, music and food. The sights and sounds and smells of my youth that still affect me viscerally. Memories like these help me be grateful for such a long life well-lived.
I was sitting alone in my favourite daytime café today half daydreaming and half listening to an over loud monologue (I originally typed nonologue lol) by one of the patrons (an overeducated older white male blowbag) reminiscent of the lobby scene in Woody Allen’s Annie Hall where a man in line is spewing off theories about Marshall McLuhan and Woody calls him out and the guy says he teaches a course on McLuhan and Woody brings Marshall McLuhan into the scene and McLuhan completely refutes and debases the professor. “If life were only like that” said Woody. This story is not about him, the patronizing patron.
As I was daydreaming/eavesdropping, a large man in a large, worn winter coat walked into my field of vision and sat in front of the window I was staring out. As he arranged his posture he looked directly at me and said “Hi!” in a booming and overly loud for the space voice. I mumbled “hi” back and went back to thinking and waiting for my double espresso to cool down and also waiting for my phone to ring as I was killing time while Sharon was at the vet’s. Not for herself, of course, but one of the birds had her “annual” bank account draining check up.
The man was quite unusual looking. He looked perhaps like an Australian aboriginal man with curly tousled hair and a scruffy beard and missing a few teeth. He had kind, intelligent eyes and looked like he spent a great deal of time outdoors. I am pretty sure most people’s snap judgement of him if they met him on the street would be that he was homeless and to avoid him or brace themselves for a demand for alms because his size and appearance could be considered daunting.
As I pondered his greeting, I thought that maybe he thought I was staring at him and was offended and that is why he said “Hi”so loudly like it might have been a “Here I am… Want a picture?!?” but there had been no trace of sarcasm in the monosyllabic greeting, just volume. I know many people with Autistic Spectrum Disorder who sometimes use their “outside voice” inside, but this did not seem to be the case either.
I soon got my text to pick up Sharon and the bird, so I quickly downed my defibrillator espresso in one gulp and got up and put my coat on. As I approached the table where the man who had greeted me was sitting I said to him “I am sorry if you thought I was staring at you, your greeting surprised me and I was unsure if it was a friendly conversation starter or if I had offended you.” He was most affable and assured me that he was just being friendly and he thanked me for approaching him to be understood clearly.
I felt mildly ashamed at my train of thought and wished I had had more time to engage this gentleman in a proper conversation. He looked wise and kind, his life full and his stories most assuredly would have been better than the one I had involuntarily been listening to before.
There is a view I have from the armchair in our living room that I cherish. I look into my office/studio which right now is fairly uncluttered (at least the part we see here lol.) I have been organizing and sorting and finding things that I knew I had, but had misplaced or, rather, changed the place of so I’d find it better when I needed it…. Right…. My vape machine has been missing for several months. i use it infrequently, only when my migraine is unbearable. I forgot that I had given it a new home in it’s own artsy box and had put it on a shelf of its own meant to hold a dozen or so CD’s. The second thing was several gifts I got on sale at Chapters. Not books, but clothing items for my girls who I didn’t see in person this year at Christmas. Bought them at 30% off last year Boxing Day (week). It is not like me to think that far ahead. I have lost and found them 3x in a year. This time I wrapped them and labeled them and put them in a bag on the back of my studio door hanging with dozens of guitar cables. I can always refer to this blog now in case I forget where they are. Trouble is, these items are like passwords on the internuts. Don’t get me started.
I feel like an archaeologist several times a year shuffling stuff around. Maybe it’s a game like our cockatoo plays until she changes the rules from boredom. She is a real character! Incidentally her cage is directly behind the chair from where I took this photo.
Above the door is a street sign I bought in Liverpool. Favourite song by favourite Beatle. Just down and to the right is a stylized portrait of Bob Dylan that Sharon bought for me from our artist friend Susan Shulman.
I love it ‘cause it’s weird. Bob has three arms. Two on the Fender bass and one holding a cigarette.
Down to the right and partially obscured by a candlestick is a lovely picture of a cuddly roly poly Sharon with dancing eyes and mischievous smile. Other objects on the table is a lamp with a dog on the vase and dingle berries hanging from the shade. Retro chic. There is a cut glass candy tray filled with white tail feathers from one of the other birds: Betty White. There is a woodcut of a cabin in the woods and in front of that a tiny brass claw foot bathtub with pretty rocks I had collected on my travels as a younger man and gave to my mum. Each with a story. My mum gave them back as she neared her final voyage. Treasures.
The table itself had been my grandmother’s passed on to my parents and fits perfectly right there. Under the table I stashed my Martin guitar, having just returned from teaching a private lesson. Mundane details, they are merely objects, but they give me comfort. Small stuff.
“Nice eyes!” The woman ahead of me at the post office was sending money overseas to her family. She was dressed in a bright green Kameez under a Kanuk overcoat. Obviously from the Indian subcontinent.
I said “Pardon me?”
“You have nice blue eyes.” she clarified. “And kind eyes. Where I come from we all have dark eyes.” I said “My wife was born in India and she says the same thing about her eyes.” I told her what I would have told Sharon: that she should be thankful for her eyes, they see! I also told her it was a nice way to end off 2022, to be complimented by a pretty lady.
She apologized for the long wait and told me she was sending money home, and I told her I wasn’t in a hurry and that my package was part of a funny mistake. I told her this story:
My wife’s mother is Welsh and quite elderly. She has one surviving brother still in Wales whose wife had sent her a gift via us, as my mother-in law’s address has recently changed. As Jennie was opening her parcel and then the wrapped gift inside she saw an address book. Upon opening the address book, my mother-in-law was confused. “There are names and numbers already in here.” We quickly figured out that her sister-in-law had wrapped her address book up in the present and sent it to Canada by mistake. Everybody had a good giggle over this miscue. Sharon fired off a message to one of her Welsh cousins who confirmed that his mum had wondered where her address book was and had turned the house upside down looking for it. Sharon repackaged the book and I took it to the post office this morning.
Everyone within earshot at the post office had a good giggle and we went our merry ways.
On the way home I reflected on how close we came this year to Sharon almost losing the sight in one eye, the death of her father who was legally blind for the last few years of his life. I was grateful for my eyesight, all the doctors (including my brother-in-law) who took such care to get her into and through a difficult surgery. We so often take our senses for granted in our day to day doings. I am thankful for this lady in the Post Office for bringing my attention to bear on something that is so important to me and for which I am grateful.
I remembered this poem I wrote in reply to Sharon saying to me in 2017 that I was lucky to have such nice blue eyes and that her eyes were “ordinary”. Her eyes are especially beautiful in my eyes. All eyes are beautiful; they are conduits to the world and facilitate our movement in it, and our appreciation of it.
ORDINARY EYES
You say your eyes
are ordinary
Ordinary eyes....
Melanin loaded....
Common....
Mine are a fluke of
Tyndall scattering
in the stroma
and larger
deposits of collagen
But they see
Mine see yours
Yours see mine
unique, oblique, boutique
probes and globes
A sight for sorry eyes
Anything but common